I used to think there were good moms and bad moms, and it was pretty easy to tell the difference. Hell, I could walk into a grocery store and let you know which was which in a matter of minutes. Then I became a mom. Much to the chagrin of all those I labeled, I realized how far off the mark I really was. We all have good mom and bad mom in us.
Mommyhood has multiple shades of gray. It isn't as black and white as good mom and bad mom. I like to think of it in terms of numerics (scale of 1 to 10 in grayness). Today I score myself as a 5. I don't feel like I screwed my kids up so bad that they will need therapy (remember, I am just talking about today!), but I also don't feel like I created any nobel prize winners either. I was just a plain mom. I let them watch a little too much TV, allowed fruit snacks as their snack, and yelled my way through supper, but I also sat down and read 100 nursery rhymes with them, sang Puff the Magic Dragon, gave a few underducks, and wiped some butts (both literally and figuratively). Somedays I'm a 2 and somedays I'm an 8. I've never reached the elusive 10, but it is good to have a goal.
As nice as it would be to have two discreet categories of good mom/bad mom, I'm greatful to have the shades of gray. Every day I wake up, I have a chance to hit that 10, and on days when I hit the 1 I know that tomorrow can be different. When my kids look back at their childhood, I hope they remember it more as a 6, 7, 8 than a 1, 2, 3. If so, then I feel like I was a good mom.
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