The words "mid-life crisis" conjur up images of toupee'd middle aged men driving around in sports cars while leering at younger women. The thought of it makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit. A mom's mid-life crisis isn't as icky, but it is no less life altering. I'm in the midst of a mom's mid-life crisis right now at the ripe old age of 34; I'm trying to decide if I am done having children.
I know many of you are scoffing at me right now, but this decision is just as life altering as a man feeling like he is losing his youth. Taking the step to say I will never feel a baby kicking me from the inside or I will never again hear a child say 'Mama' for the first time is rocking my world.
The thought of never having those again makes me want to do something irrational to hold onto youth; not my youth, my children's. I am not dealing with this mid-life crisis by purchasing exorbitant vehicles or trying to look younger. I'm dealing with it as any normal mother would, I am eating cookie dough. I've inhaled many a case of cookie dough, but I have yet to find the answer to my mid-life crisis in the empty boxes. I feel like once I decide to be done or not be done, I will feel better. It is the process of making the decision that is making me dive headfirst into a bucket of relief.
Awww Jessie. It IS sad to think about. I always find myself not necessarily wishing for another one right now, but more of a way to stop the ones I do have from growing up anymore. I always wish I could just stop time and keep them all under my wings forever. Or go back and do it all again with the same kids.
ReplyDeleteJust do what we do: take it month by month and then you'll end up pregnant again and wham! Decision made. ;)
P.S. Good to see you back in the blogging saddle. ;)
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